Anima Pro Anima
by SisterOfAnElvenWannabe
Summary: Alternate ending to "Destiny's Burden". "To save a life, a life must be given." One-shot.


**Disclaimer: All rights to** _ **Merlin**_ **and its character go to the BBC.**

 **A/N: The basic premise of this story came from my sister. We were discussing** _ **Destiny's Burden**_ **and she made a comment that was the basic premise of this. I told her that there was no way I was ending my story like that, but the idea stuck in my head and wouldn't let me go, so here you have this alternate ending. (If you came to this story without reading Destiny's Burden, I highly recommend you read that first, at least through chapter ten.)**

 **The title is Latin and translates to "A life for a life", or literally, "life for life".**

 **Spells and thoughts are in** _ **italics**_ **.**

 **Anima Pro Anima**

Merlin slid off Kilgharrah's back. Mordred quickly followed then turned to help Merlin lift Arthur down. The two sorcerers lay the king gently on the ground.

Mordred looked around, taking in their surroundings. Something about the place reminded him of the meadow from his dream where he had met his mother.

He turned to Merlin, "What do we do now?"

Merlin took a deep breath, "Now we hope that my magic, added to the magic of Avalon, will be able to cure Arthur."

"It will not be that simple, Emrys." Both sorcerers jumped at the voice.

They turned to find a beautiful woman walking towards them. Her hair was a rich red brown and hung loos about her shoulders. Her face and figure were that of a girl of fifteen, yet her deep blue eyes held the wisdom of the ages.

Mordred swallowed hard, suddenly sure that he was in the presence of the Triple Goddess herself.

Merlin too, seemed awestruck, yet he found the ability to speak, "What do you mean?"

The goddess regarded him with eyes that were calm but deeply sad, "To save a life a life must be given. It is the way of things. You know this, Emrys."

Merlin drew himself up to his full height, "I will gladly give my life for Arthur's."

At last Mordred found his own voice, "No."

Both Merlin and the goddess turned to him.

Merlin frowned, "What?"

Mordred took a deep breath, "I said, no. Not you, Emrys, _me_. My life for Arthur's."

Before he was finished speaking Merlin was shaking his head, "Mordred, no-"

"It is I who injured Arthur and it is I who should give my life for him."

"Mordred, I told you, Arthur's injury is Morgana's fault, not yours."

Mordred shook his head, "Nevertheless, it should be me. Camelot needs Arthur, and Arthur needs you, Emrys."

"Morgana is dead. Arthur no longer needs my protection."

Mordred nodded slightly, "Perhaps not, but now more than ever he will need your guidance."

Merlin opened his mouth to protest again and Mordred took a step towards him, "Let me do this, Merlin."

Whatever protest Merlin was about to make died at the sound of his given name. His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head. When he lifted it his eyes were full of tears.

Mordred smiled sadly, "Goodbye, Merlin." He extended his arm.

Merlin grasped it, the tears falling from his eyes and flowing down his face, "Goodbye, Mordred. It is an honor to have known you." His voice broke and he embraced Mordred.

"It is an honor to have been your friend." Merlin's voice was choked with tears as Mordred returned his embrace. Then Mordred broke away and turned to the goddess, knowing and not caring that there were tears on his own face.

Her gaze seemed to pierce his soul, "You would give your life for the son of Uther Pendragon, who has hunted and tormented your people for so many years?" Mordred got the feeling he was being tested. He met the goddesses gaze unflinchingly, and his voice was steady when he spoke.

"I would give my life for my king, as any knight would. I would give my life for the _Once and Future_ King, as any Druid would. I would give my life for the man who saved it as a child. But more than any of that-" Mordred swallowed hard and when he spoke again his voice shook with emotion, "Arthur is my _friend._ And for that, I would give my life a thousand times over."

The warmth of the smile the goddess bestowed upon him reminded Mordred of his mother, despite her youthful features, "Well spoken, my son." A golden chalice appeared in her hand.

She walked over to stand beside Arthur. She extended a hand to Mordred, "Come then, loyal knight, devoted Druid, _faithful friend_. Come, Mordred, my son." She extended her other hand to him. Mordred walked toward her and Merlin kept pace at his side. Mordred placed his hand in that of the goddess. He knelt at Arthur's side and the goddess knelt with him, he on one side of the fallen king, and she on the other.

The goddess brought the cup to Arthur's lips. Mordred looked down into Arthur's face. A sense of peace washed over him and he smiled.

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The first thing Arthur saw when he awoke was Merlin's face. When he saw that Arthur was awake a smile overtook his face. Arthur saw true joy in his eyes, but behind it a deep sadness.

"Merlin…what happened?" Merlin swallowed hard, the smile fading. Arthur began to sit up and Merlin moved instantly to help him.

Arthur looked around, "Where's Mordred?" Merlin bowed his head and Arthur felt a jolt of fear.

"Merlin! Where is he?!" Merlin rose to his feet. He offered a hand to help Arthur up, but Arthur didn't need it, he felt as if he had never been wounded.

"He is over here, sire." He led Arthur to where a small boat lay by the side of the lake. In it, on a bed of branches, lay Mordred, his hands placed gently on his stomach. His eyes were closed and he wore a peaceful smile on his face. He might have been sleeping.

Arthur felt as if he had received a blow to his stomach.

"What happened?" he gasped. Mordred had been fine, completely healthy. The truth struck him like another blow, "He… he did this for me, didn't he? That's how I was healed…Mordred gave his life for mine."

Merlin nodded, "yes, sire."

"Why did you let him do it?!" Arthur demanded.

Merlin's gaze was full of anguish, "I didn't want to- I wanted to give my life, but Mordred insisted. He said that you needed me." He shook his head, "I shouldn't have let him. I should have made her take me." His voice was saturated with guilt.

Arthur's anger turned to horror, "Merlin! Neither one of you should have given your life for mine! My life is worth no more than yours or his!" Arthur's agitation seemed to have a calming effect on Merlin. He gave Arthur a sad smile. He had the look in his eyes that Arthur had glimpsed on rare occasions, a look of wisdom beyond his years.

"Arthur, Mordred did not give his life merely as a knight for his king. He gave it as a friend for a friend."

Arthur bowed his head. For once he felt no shame for the tears that fell from his eyes. There could be no shame in grieving for a fallen brother.

He knelt beside the little boat and placed one hand on Mordred's chest, "Thank you, my friend. Your loyalty will never be forgotten."

Merlin knelt as well, placing his hand beside Arthur's, "Fate would have made you Arthur's downfall," he murmured, "But by your own will you became his salvation. _In sibbe gereste, M¯æg_." Arthur recognized the language of the Old Religion, but Merlin's eyes did not flare gold as they had when he had performed magic before. Whatever he had said had not been a spell. But there would be time to question Merlin about what he had meant by his farewell later.

Arthur rose to his feet and Merlin rose with him. Merlin looked down at Mordred and frowned slightly. He extended his hand and uttered a soft incantation. This time his eyes did flare gold. The dark chainmail Mordred wore turned to silver and his black cloak was transformed to red, the familiar golden dragon insignia on the shoulder marking it as the uniform of a knight of Camelot.

Merlin gave Arthur a small smile, "I figured he would prefer this."

Arthur felt a smile form on his own face, "You're right, Merlin." He refrained from adding, _for once,_ but from the way Merlin's smile widened briefly, he knew that his friend had guessed his thoughts.

Faces serious again, both men turned to face the water.

Merlin extended his hand once more, " _Astyre."_ The little boat began to float out into the lake.

As it drew away from them Merlin murmured another incantation, " _Wæcce on sæbát bælfýr mæst."_ The boat ignited into flames.

For several moments Arthur and Merlin watched it silently. At last Arthur turned to Merlin and spoke, "It feels as if we should do more to honor him."

Merlin smiled, the look of ancient wisdom again in his eyes, "And we will. We will honor him by creating the Camelot he dreamed of; A Camelot that is fair and just, where her people, _all_ her people can live in peace and without fear. Albion will rise, Arthur, and you will be the greatest king the world has ever known."

Arthur felt the weight of the words, of the destiny they carried, settle on his shoulders. It was a weight he would bear gladly, with honor and pride, in remembrance of all those whose sacrifices had made it possible.

He looked again towards the burning boat. _I will change things,_ he vowed silently to the Druid who had given his life for Arthur's own, _never again will your people live in fear of Camelot. Never again will I allow this kingdom to be ruled by hatred and fear._

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When Mordred woke, his initial reaction was confusion. He was still in the same place, still in Avalon, and yet Arthur and Merlin were nowhere to be seen. Yet even as he wondered at this, he realized that he wasn't in the same place, not really. He was in Avalon, yes, but not the Avalon he had been in a moment before. This was a different Avalon. This, Mordred suddenly knew with a certainty that came from deep in his bones, was the _true_ Avalon.

He gazed into the lake, and to his astonishment he saw not his own reflection, but a different image entirely, the image of another Avalon, the Avalon Mordred had left behind. He could see Merlin and Arthur, and, with a funny jolt in his stomach, he realized he could see himself laying on the ground next to Arthur. He watched as Merlin lay branches across the bottom of a small boat, the moved Mordred's body into the boat. It was very strange to see himself lying so still and pale.

He watched Merlin go to Arthur's side and kneel beside him. He watched as Arthur woke up, and leaning closer in concentration, he realized he could not only see his friends, but hear them too. He heard their discussion, and their goodbyes. A warm feeling filled his heart. He wished he could tell them that he was alright, that he was well.

A smile crossed his face as he watched Merlin transform the clothes of the Mordred in the boat into the armor of a knight of Camelot.

He heard the words exchanged between Arthur and Merlin as they watched the boat burn. He heard too, somewhere in his mind, almost like the telepathic speech he had once used, Arthur's silent vow. Again he wished he could speak to his friends, tell them how much their words and actions meant to him.

"Mordred." At the sound of a voice behind him, Mordred tore his eyes from the scene in the lake. It was his mother's voice that had spoken. She stood a few feet behind him next to a man Mordred instantly recognized.

"Mother! Father!" He scrambled to his feet and rushed towards them like he was a child again.

Laughing, his parents embraced him.

After a moment Mordred pulled away and looked at his parents, drinking in their presence, scarcely able to believe they were here. He was taller than his mother now – he'd noticed it before, when she'd appeared in his dream – and the same height as his father.

"I- I missed you" his voice trembled slightly, but he didn't care, "So much."

His mother smiled, a little sadly, "I know. You never should have had to grow up without us."

His father put an arm around his wife, 'We have watched over you, always, and we are so proud of the man you have become."

His mother smiled again, "Come, there are others who will wish to see you."

Mordred followed his parents away from the lake. Though the other Avalon had been a small island, this one seemed to have no end. They walked down a little path lined with trees on both sides. Overhead the tree branches formed a sort of canopy. They emerged into a clearing and Mordred spotted another familiar face.

"Kara!" he called out. All the anger he had felt toward her in life had vanished. His heart was filled only with the warmth and love he had felt for her since he was a child.

But Kata gave him a cold look, "You made your choice, Mordred. You chose _him_ over me."

Mordred stopped in his tracks, shocked and watched Kara walk over to stand beside two other women. One was very familiar to Mordred, Morgana, the other was a blonde woman who he realized quickly must be Morgause. All three women regarded Mordred coldly.

Mordred's mother sighed. "There are some, who even now, choose to hold onto hatred," she said sadly.

Mordred shook his head, "But why? It seems so pointless in this place."

His mother nodded, "Yes, their anger only prevents their own happiness, but still they refuse to let it go."

Mordred looked back over at the three women, feeling sad for them.

"Come," his mother said gently, and Mordred turned away from the three women and followed his parents again.

They had walked a few hundred yards when Mordred heard a voice calling his name. He turned to see a young dark-skinned man striding toward him, smiling broadly.

Mordred's face broke into a wide grin, "Elyan!" He hurried toward his friend. The two clasped forearms, then Elyan pulled Mordred over to where another man waited. He had dark hair and eyes and he too wore the uniform of a knight of Camelot.

"Mordred, this is Lancelot. Lancelot, Mordred." Mordred's eyes widened slightly at the name. He had heard of Lancelot, heard that he was brave and honorable and had given his life for his friends, but there had always been some sort of underlying tension when his name was mentioned that Mordred hadn't understood.

Lancelot gave Mordred an easy, friendly smile that he couldn't help returning, "Nice to meet you, Mordred. Welcome to Avalon."

Mordred spent a few minutes conversing with the knights. With Elyan it was the same as it had always been between them and Mordred found Lancelot to be very likeable and friendly. Mordred's parents stood off to the side, conversing in low voices.

Mordred and Lancelot were both laughing at something Elyan had said when a woman approached them. Lancelot and Elyan both bowed in respect and Mordred followed suit, then straightened to find that she was looking directly at him.

She was young, graceful and beautiful, with blonde hair flowing down her back. She smiled at him, and there was something familiar in it.

"Hello, Mordred." She spoke in a soft tone and Mordred felt a jolt of surprise at the fact that she knew his name. She seemed faintly amused at his surprised look, "I am Ygraine."

"You're Arthur's mother." Mordred murmured, understanding why he had thought her smile looked familiar, when she smiled she looked like Arthur.

Ygraine nodded. She reached out and took Mordred's hands in hers, "I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" Mordred asked in bemusement, feeling rather like a shy child.

Ygraine smiled gently, "Yes, for what you did for my son."

Mordred looked down, feeling a little embarrassed, "there are many who would have done the same, my lady."

Ygraine nodded, "Be that as it may, it does not make your actions any less honorable."

She gave Mordred another smile, then walked away.

Lancelot clapped Mordred on the shoulder, "She's right, you know."

Elyan laughed, "Didn't she say the same thing to you when you first came here?"

Lancelot nodded with a grin, "Though Arthur's father was far less enthused…"

Elyan rolled his eyes, "Course not, as far as he's concerned we're not real knights because we're not noblemen."

He turned to Mordred, "See, Lancelot and I have developed this theory that Arthur inherited all his likeable qualities from his mother and all his _annoying_ qualities from his father."

Mordred couldn't help laughing. Briefly, even as he laughed, his thoughts turned to Kara and Morgana, and he hoped, for their sakes, that they would learn to let go of their anger and accept the joy and serenity of Avalon.

He looked around at the beautiful meadow they stood in, his gaze taking in his parents a few paces off and his friends beside him, and felt a sense of peace and contentment wash over him. He knew, with a certainty that came from the very depths of his soul, that Avalon was home, that he had come to a place where, at last, he fully and completely belonged.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed! This is the longest one-shot I have ever written. Both of the spells Merlin uses come from the episode "the Lady of the Lake." The Old English phrase he uses that's not a spell translates to, "Rest in peace, brother." Please leave a review and tell me what you thought!**


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